The two doctrines are true: He chooses us (1 Peter 2:9), and we have a choice to make: “Whosoever will may come”. Have you chosen Him for yourself? Only God is Good. Choose to make that “eternal divide” permanent – for goodness sake.
Slowly becoming less and less
Continue on in unbelief, rejecting Jesus in your life, and little by little that rejection embeds. Unbeliefism becomes inextractable. Watch out! Are you rejecting what Jesus taught? Any “slight inclination to error” is a monster (Galatians 5:9), and it lurks inside us all, wanting out, free to wreak its havoc. Are you its slave, doing its bidding? (Romans 6:16) Jesus can free us from our slavery to sin. (Romans 7:24-25) Jesus is stronger than any monster. Be a strong person – in Christ.