9 Reasons Against Divorce

Divorce can be one of the most traumatic experiences a person can ever encounter. Whether married three years or 50 years, most people are unprepared for the consequences of divorce.

Most States now allow both No-Fault and Fault-Based Divorces. ⁽¹⁾……

Each culture around the world has its own values.  But there are repercussions to these values that we see in our society and these values are being played out by the family. The family forms an important building block in the society. And when the family unit starts to crumble, so does the society. We need strong families to continue on with our biblical values.

Statistics

1. Divorce Rates, the Barna group, in the year 2000: Non-denominational churches: 34%; Baptists: 29%; Mainline Protestants: 25%; Mormons: 24%; Catholics: 21%; Lutherans: 21% ⁽²⁾

2. August 6, 2001, “Born again Christians are just as likely to get divorced as are non-born again adults. Overall, 33% of all born again individuals who have been married have gone through a divorce, which is statistically identical to the 34% incidence among non-born again adults”. ⁽³⁾

3. On March 31, 2008, Among adults who have been married, the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split. ⁽⁴⁾

4. From 5-7 years of marriage there are divorces due to high conflict. From 10-12 years of marriage the divorce is usually due to loss of intimacy and connection.  ⁽⁵⁾
   

Reasons Against Getting Divorced

1. God hates it. Malachi 2:6: This should be the primary reason for not getting a divorce. And God is not a meany! He has His reasons.

2. All bonds between the married couple are broken: The sexual, emotional, and spiritual bonds are broken (Rom. 7:1-3). And the relations between them and everyone linked to them will be forever affected. When a covenant between them is made and later broken, the covenant has ended. Many of us do not realize how important a covenant is. It is “an agreement between two parties”. It would be better not to make one than later break it! (Ex. 34:15).

3. The Children (if there are any): Children from broken homes tend to suffer from more self-esteem problems than children whose parents are together. A child’s home is his/her safety zone. A broken home can cause severe emotional trauma to the child. ⁽⁶⁾

4. Health Problems: “A Chicago study involving 8,652 people aged 51 to 61, found divorced people have 20% more chronic illnesses such as cancer than those who never marry”. ⁽⁷⁾

5. Divorce fees: Hourly costs in handling the divorce (from $50 to $250 per hour) are deducted from the retainer fee. Included should be fees for filing the case, transcriptions of the hearing, subpoena fees, photocopying costs, postage, telephone calls, psychiatric exams, and social service reports. Then there are child support fees, medical and dental costs, health and life insurance, and perhaps even college tuition. Plus add in the extra housing and utility costs if you can’t stay in the residency you both shared . ⁽⁸⁾

6. Dealing with State Divorce proceedings: there are websites that can give more information for each state regarding this. ⁽⁹⁾

7. Lack of a role model: David Popenoe in “Life Without Father” claims that 70 percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in fatherless homes, as did 60 percent of rapists and 72 percent of teenaged killers. ⁽¹⁰⁾ There could definitely be a lack of a Biblical role-models. But even giving a good model, the children will still have to deal with the consequences of the divorce.

8. Extra un-needed stress: Divorce can mean a loss of dreams and goals. You will need a good support system in place to help you deal with the stress associated with a divorce.

9. Raising someone else’s kids: If you get divorced, it’s likely you’re going to be dating other divorced people — and guess what, they come with the same thing you have — an ex-and-kid baggage. ⁽¹¹⁾

Conclusion

Now there are some logical and rational reasons to get a divorce that cannot be denied! There are things like abandonment, desertion, adultery, infidelity, physical or verbal abuse, criminal conviction without parole, mayor alcohol or drug abuse, fighting, quarreling and bickering constantly between patners are just a few of the reasons. But the fact is, getting a divorce is a bad decision and it is not wise. It’s better not to have gotten married than to get a divorce.

As Christians, we need to remember what these two passages say:

• Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” If they repent, we need to forgive them and love them just like God does with us.
• 1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Sources:

1. http://family-law.lawyers.com/divorce/Do-I-Need-a-Reason-to-Get-Divorced.html

2. http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2012/5/9/195344/3248

3. http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/5-barna-update/56-born-again-adults-less-likely-to-co-habit-just-as-likely-to-divorce

4. http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/15-familykids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released

5. http://www.psychpage.com/family/mod_couples_thx/divorce.html

6. http://www.futurescopes.com/preventing-divorce/773/10-reasons-not-get-divorce-heres-why-you-need-rethink-divorcing-your-partner

7. Ibid

8. http://www.jameswatkins.com/divorce.htm

9. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/understandingstatelaws/a/divorcelaw.htm

10. http://www.jameswatkins.com/divorce.htm

11. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gigi-levangie-grazer/wasbands-and-wives-seven-_b_967170.html