To be wrong with Jesus is the worst. You can’t be in a worse position with God. It matters. You will never be happy in that state. So think about it.
I have stumbled like a drunk
Are you “pursuing spiritual perfection”? Or: Are you deep in the miry clay, still, lost in your sinfulness? Want to get out? Turn. Get yourself to Jesus through sincere and truthful prayer. Christians do not have to sin. You once turned – to it. And so it is a choice also to turn from it, from what has ensnared you – and turn to Jesus in repentance. It’s a choice: be faithful once again, or stumble like a drunk, eat vomit like a dog, wallow like a pig.
Misunderstanding God
Personally, I have sinned, grievously — but I did not make a concerted effort to excuse my woeful behavior. I chose to repent — not pursue wanton behavior. Choosing Jesus – over my sin, is dimensionally far from choosing excuses and staying with my sin. Don’t be fooled again and again and again – by the world, your friends, or your philosophizing. Sure as Heaven – we will meet our Maker on His terms. Are you ready now?
Needing something more than Jesus
If in your faith in Christ — you are also needing something more than Jesus, then you are most likely being led astray, taught by a counterfeit charismatic movement leader or a New Age church. These charming charmers, false teachers, “turn away from the faith, paying attention instead to deceitful and seductive spirits and doctrines of demons”.